I do not mean to overwhelm with the amount of posts this week. However, I find it important to share, especially for those who are having challenges reaping the rewards of this program.
The past two weeks I’ve been feeling a bit stuck and as if nothings happening. Especially compared to the beginning weeks when magic was happening all around me.
These weeks, when I thought nothing was happening, except for challenges, I reminded myself to look for the gifts that these challenges were bringing me.
Then I started to notice the subtle, yet paradoxically noticeable changes occurring within me…
And, today, bingo!
This morning I had to take my daughter to the ER. One of the doctors came in to talk to us and suddenly looked at me and nicely asked if he could have a word with my daughter, alone. I reluctantly stepped outside of the examination room.
When he left, I went back in to have my daughter tell me that the doctor had said there was a possibility for her having a life-altering disease. We looked at each other and panic set in. She said, Mom, don’t be scared, you are scaring me.
In a nano-second, my entire daughter’s life until that moment and her whole future flashed in front of me. And I immediately felt that fear grip me tight.
Then, the “How is this even possible?” head-pounding thoughts began and what I would do to be there to support her and get us through this.
As the words,’you are scaring me’ set in, I realized I had a choice in how and what to feel. And if I relaxed my body, I would be more able to cope with whatever the diagnosis.
I looked at her and said: “Let’s stop this right now. We don’t know and we don’t have enough information to warrant this fear. So let’s not get ahead of ourselves and focus on breathing, ok?”
Like magic, she started doing the breathwork I teach and I followed suit. We sat up straight and did a mental body scan finding the points of tension and relaxed them. We both started breathing more deeply.
Then I began asking questions, where a feeling of lightness or expansion means truth and heaviness or constriction means lie.
We both kept doing this several times and getting the same answer. This possibility was a lie. I said I’m getting that this is not so. She said “me too.” And without even looking at each other, sitting side-by-side, holding hands, we breathed easier.
The head doctor came in, took a look at my girl and said: “you have a virus, give it 5 days, it will go away on its own.”
Half alarmed and half relieved I asked: “But what about the earlier diagnosis by the other doctor????” He smiled and said: “Eh, no. This is absolutely not X and this is nothing to worry about.”
When the doctor walked out, my daughter’s stress immediately transferred itself from a life-altering illness to ‘I’ve been useless for 5 days with this ailment and haven’t done my work, I am freaking out.”
I looked at her and, serious as serious can be, I said:”Half an hour ago we were facing the possibility of a life-altering illness and now we are not. If you relax, you will get your creativity back on and you will be able to handle anything that comes your way. OR you can stress and have a horrible day ahead of you. You can choose whatever you want. As far as I’m concerned, I am going to be doing the ‘jig’ ALL THE WAY HOME! And beamed her the biggest smile I had in me.
I greet this day with LOVE and GRATITUDE in my heart and all is well.
Thank you, God!