Week 3 – Kenpo A-ha!

I LOVE P90X, for many reasons. One, because it just works. Two, because of reason one, I have a crush on Tony Horton…Jana_TonyHorton

Three, because it literally saved my life, along with my doggies when I went through a very painful divorce.

The first time I did P90X, I realized it was much more than an exercise program; it had VAK techniques, helped you build new neural pathways, deactivated the sympathetic nervous system and activated the parasympathetic one among other things. Basically, it re-programs your mind and every time you show up, you experience results. Interesting…

I also used it then to vent out my anger and, especially during Kenpo, I used to imagine my ex in front of me and me punching his lights out ( I was very angry and hurt ), by the end of it, I always felt much better.

The second time around, ( I’ve done it several times ), P90X helped me deal with the fear of the unknown and the uncertainty and loneliness I felt surrounding my new life. So when I did Kenpo, again, I would imagine myself destroying the fear I felt with my kicks and punches and my affirmations which I used to yell out when I felt my strength fading: ” I AM Powerful”, “I AM Strong”, “I AM Harmonious”, “I AM Healthy”, “I AM Happy”, and on and on and on, and I would imagine the fear in front of me as a concrete wall and behind was the life of my dreams. Once again, it got me through.

And what does Kenpo and P90X have to do with MKMMA??? You might wonder…

Well, I did Kenpo today.

But today, aaaahhh, today… Kenpo was different…

I started imagining the Golden Buddha in front of me and me kicking and punching away the cement. But I was being careful not to topple the Buddha over. Until the realization came…

“Wait a minute! I AM that Gold!!!”

So instead of kicking the cement outside of me, covering an external being separate from me, I realized the cement is all around me. Covering me up. These conditionings we’ve been talking about, the past hurts, accepted limitations, and my own lack of love for myself in the past, are what make this cement so wonderfully strong. But it’s no match to my desire to be free.

So today, I kicked and punched my way out of this cement casing… and though it certainly needs more work, a glimmer of golden light was reflected off me today as I went through my day, being more productive than I’ve been in months, smiling away, and working through my chore and my long list of To Do’s. Thinking : “Do it now! Do it now! Do it now! Do it now…” and actually doing it now…including writing this blog at midnight because I wanted to make sure I remembered  what I wanted to say about my experience this morning!

Now I’m done for today. I am satisfied, although I know I can do better. And as I go to bed doing the conga line by myself, I will continue celebrating in my sleep, for I did it. Today, I did it!


7 thoughts on “Week 3 – Kenpo A-ha!

    • Wow Janet, Thank you!!
      I appreciate your comment more than you know. I can feel your energy and sincerity and it gives me jet fuel to keep going and knowing that my lack of consistency is simply “an old habit” that is getting eliminated daily by my new habit of joyful, continuous giving 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s